This blogpost was inspired by a comment I read in a Facebook group. This is it:
'Today I was handed a severance offer. I have been in this company for over 5 years and I am over 40. I want to find something more flexible, in a better location, and to have a chance to take on a leadership role.
A big part of me feels that if I take this offer, I will never find another job as good - it's work from home, with benefits, free health care, and decent enough pay. Although it sucks the soul out of me at this point, keeps me up at night and I can't travel when I want or live where I want.
Am I being greedy? Should I just be thankful for what I have? What would you do guys?"
Being thankful and grateful for what we have is certainly a good starting point, no doubt about that. The state of being appreciative of what we have elevates our vibration as we focus on abundance and achievements rather than lack.
However, being grateful doesn't mean settling down for what is the current state of affairs and not wanting to change our circumstances. Quite the opposite is actually true. From a place of abundance and gratitude, we can create an even better life - for ourselves and for our loved ones. In fact, I'd go even further and say that we awe it to ourselves (and our loved ones) because we are more than capable of changing things around.
This brings me to the topic of "judgement".
Too often we do things out of fear of being judged.
"Too rude!"
"Too selfish!"
"Too loud!"
"Too quiet!" and so on...
But have you asked yourself, "Why? By whose standards am I too...[fill in the adjective]...?"
Imagine these two identical seeds that came form the same plant and ended up in two different environments through no action of their own, mind you. (This is true story - form my allotment!) One thrived and bloomed into beautiful flowers while the other one was left in the paper packet... Does the second seed now think that its brother was a selfish, greedy, inconsiderate show-off because it thrived and produced seeds of its own? Or does the first plant feel it needs to slow down and stop ripening its fruits not to hurt the feelings of his less fortunate brother?
Our judgements of ourselves are our biggest hindrance to evolving into the thriving humans we were born to be. We are our own worse enemy, especially if we grew up surrounded by "judgement" of what was or wasn't considered "socially acceptable behaviour". This is our biggest and most dangerous virus, our low level of self-respect, worthiness and self-love. As a result, we rush around like headless chickens, doing what we are told to do, felling like we are expected to feel, chasing other people's appraisal and forgetting our own navigation system which, by now, may be even malfunctioning due to years of constant neglect.
This brings to mind the story of the captain on a boat who found himself in a foggy night at sea, without a map. Luckily for him, he saw a glimmering light in the distance and shouted through his megaphone (or maybe he was luckier and his radio was still working),
"Hey, you are heading in my direction, we will crash!"
From the darkness, the reply came,
"Yes, you're right! You're heading in my direction, better change your course immediately!"
The Captain, with his ego as big as the boat, shouted back in rage,
"Who do you think you are, telling me to change my direction?! I am a big frigate with lots of guns and torpedoes! You change your course right now!"
Do you think his attitude changed when he heard the answer,
"Sorry, can't do that! I'm a light house."
Lots of us behave like this Captain, motivated by status and the expectations of others, while suppressing our real feelings and avoiding our pain points. I was no different, I used to be like that myself. I believed life happened to me, events were either bad or good luck over which I had no control and I was expected to just do my best at driving my boat (do you drive a boat or do you navigate it, whatever the verb is...), forgetting about dreams of a better life for fear of being labelled greedy and selfish. Now, after colliding head-on with two lighthouses so far in my boat-driving adventure called life, I can honestly say this:
- Whatever one thinks about anything - they are free to think it as much as they want and it has nothing to do with me.
- My own happiness and other people's judgements and opinions of me are two separate measures. I can do something about the former and the latter is none of my business.
- I am living my life as a decent human being, treating others the way they want to be treated.
- I am worthy of love and happiness.
- I deserve to be fulfilled form what I do.
- I trust my inner navigation system to take my boat to safe waters, always.
This is how I drive my boat now and I love watching the tomato plants on my allotment as they produce in peace and harmony their yummy fruit and seeds.
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