Guilt, Resentment and Shame — Three powerful brothers who keep us tied to the past!

From the day we are born we are learning about the world - what is good and what is bad, how to act so we are accepted and what not to do to avoid being rejected. Our self-esteem has been shaped and programmed by daily experiences in which we were either praised for our actions or criticized for them, lovingly shown how to modify our behaviors, or harshly and coldly punished and judged.

Shame is a perception we learned from childhood, and it is the feeling that everything about us is wrong. This affects our self-esteem in a profound way and makes us feel inadequate and incapable all throughout our life.

If the environment in which we grew up was characterized by many moments of “tough” love, aggressive words and constant criticism about our way of being, or by the total absence of interest on the part of our parents, we create a self-image based on limiting beliefs about being inadequate, inferior, insufficient and undeserving, i.e. ashamed of who we are. As we grow older, we become more sensitive to what feels like criticism, even if it isn’t, causing us to feel rejected by others, reaffirming the perception of self-loathing and worthlessness. The consequence of feeling this deep “shame” of who we are, may be the origin of behavioral patterns of self-aggression and self-punishment, where we become violent, depressed or turn to alcohol or drugs.

As a consequence of feeling this deep shame, throughout the various stages of our human experience, it is highly likely that we have had moments when we have hurt other people or ourselves with our actions or words or when we have felt attacked, betrayed or abandoned. The stories related to each of these events generate additional feelings of guilt and resentment, which, of course remain deeply stored at the subconscious level of mind, as powerful imprints with which we continue to re-create similar situations in the present and we feel powerless due to the perception of not having a way to change these patterns or letting go of the resentment that poisons us daily.

So we now we carry guilt as well as all of the previous shame and resentment. Guilt for what we did or said. We continue to feed that resentment daily as we create more instances of the same - people come to our life that we perceive to have hurt us. And, while we remain tied to the past, we are the victim of each of those events and we find ourselves repeating the same patterns in a circle that seems to have no end.

Now here is the good news!

It is possible to free ourselves from these 3 powerful brothers.

While we cannot change the events of the past, we can change how we perceive ourselves, how we perceive the environment in which we grew up, how we perceive our parents, as well as each person with whom we have interacted during those events. As Rob Williams, the Originator of PSYCH-K® likes to say, “With PSYCH-K®, it’s never too late to have a functional childhood!”.

The bridge to re-signify the past and create a more harmonious, balanced and compassionate present is to access the subconscious mind and give it new information about how we perceive what happened.

For example, consider how your life would change if you could have these new beliefs or perceptions at the subconscious level of mind:

• Believe that you are a source of peace and joy for yourself and for everyone around you (Principle of Harmony) instead of sustaining the addiction to creating situations of pain as a way of self-punishment

• Accept responsibility for the choices you have made in your life and for the results (Principle of Cause and Effect) instead of feeding the guilt and resentment that keep you in the victim mode

• Act consciously, choosing how to treat yourself and others, with the clarity that we are all connected (Principle of Interconnectedness) instead of sustaining the reactive or aggressive patterns learned in childhood.

• Find harmony, even in difficult situations (Principle of Harmony) to recover your personal power and re-signify the past based on forgiveness and gratitude (at the subconscious level of mind instead of trying to forgive, which actually leads you to not forget!)

• Honor and respect the feelings of others as well as yours (Principle of Interconnectedness) to understand that the people you consider have hurt you or who you have hurt in the past, acted from what they knew at that time. This gives you the power to learn the lessons, grow and be grateful and as a result, stop being the victim and free them from your mind.

If you are interested in learning how to go from being a victim of the past to being an architect of your daily destiny, get in touch!

EFT vs PSYCH-K® - a review/comparison

Day 3 of the ProBlogger Challenge is to write a review... 

This type of post was a real challenge for me. 

After some deliberation with myself and with my friends, I finally decided to create a review in the shape of an infographic. This is my very first attempt at comparing the two processes:  EFT and PSYCH-K®... 

I hope I have managed to capture the essence of each. Please let me know.

The 7 most Frequently Asked Questions about PSYCH-K®

Here are the most frequently asked questions regarding PSYCH-K®. I have taken them from the "Horse's Mouth" (as we say here in the UK), that is, straight from the originator's website, www.psych-k.com. Alternatively, you can order and read the book written by Rob Williams- the originator of PSYCH-K (Check the link at the side of this blog).


1. What is PSYCH-K®?Answer: PSYCH-K® is a unique and direct way to change subconscious beliefs that perpetuate old habits of thinking and behaving that you would like to change. It is a simple process that helps you communicate with your subconscious mind so you can change beliefs that limit your self-esteem, relationships, job performance, and even your physical health, and much more! PSYCH-K® is popularly characterized as a spiritual process with psychological benefits. While “psych” is often used as an abbreviation for “psychology,” in our case it is used as a variant spelling of the word psyche, meaning “mind,” “soul,” or “spirit.”

Thus the overall goal of PSYCH-K® is to help you free your mind from beliefs that limit your recognition of yourself as a spiritual being having a human experience.


2. Can I learn PSYCH-K® from a book or a DVD?Answer: We can certainly understand and empathize with the desire to be able to learn PSYCH-K® from books or DVDs. However, the PSYCH-K® processes are quite interactive and dynamic, which means that no book or DVD can adequately teach you all the possibilities. Also, neither a book nor a DVD would allow for observation and coaching of your facilitation skills, which is a key learning opportunity with a Certified Instructor in a live workshop. If you want to learn to ride a horse, you might read a lot, and watch videos, but eventually you have to mount an actual horse. That’s when you find out there’s a lot more to it than you can learn just by watching a video or reading a book! That’s when you want an experienced Instructor at your side.

We realize that we could save a lot of time, and make it more convenient for everybody by selling DVDs for people to learn PSYCH-K®. Our originator, Rob Williams, would love it if PSYCH-K® could be effectively taught by video. But it can’t. So for the benefit of all those who want to learn it correctly, we hand pick, and extensively train, Certified Instructors to bring it to you.


3. What is a PSYCH-K® Balance?Answer: A PSYCH-K® Balance is a process designed to create balanced communication with both hemispheres of the cerebral cortex. This “Whole-Brain State” is ideal for reprogramming the subconscious mind with new self-enhancing beliefs that support your goals rather than block them!


4. How did PSYCH-K® come to be?Answer: PSYCH-K® was originated in 1988 by Robert M. Williams, M.A. It was a response to the frustration that came with the realization that typical counseling techniques, which rely almost exclusively on “insight” and “motivation,” seldom create real and lasting changes. Rob has spent more than 25 years developing and improving PSYCH-K®. His backgrounds in both business and psychotherapy create a results-oriented approach to personal change. PSYCH-K® was inspired by a variety of processes, some contemporary and some ancient. It deals with the part of the mind called the subconscious, which is capable of creating dramatic and lasting changes, quickly and easily.


5. Why haven’t I heard of PSYCH-K® before?
Answer: Until 1997, Rob was the only person teaching PSYCH-K®. Now there’s a growing number of hand picked Certified Instructors teaching PSYCH-K® courses all over the world. PSYCH-K® has been growing in popularity for over 25 years! It’s not the latest fad in personal development that is usually untested and unproven. Instead, it’s a proven method for personal growth that has a strong spiritual component, not often found in other systems. It’s a unique approach to subconscious belief change that is now being recognized as a breakthrough in personal growth and spiritual evolution. In short, you’ll be hearing a lot more about PSYCH-K® in the future!


6. How does PSYCH-K® work?Answer: PSYCH-K® is a unique process evolving from years of brain research and hundreds of sessions with individuals and groups. It creates a receptive, “Whole-Brain State” that dramatically reduces resistance to change in the subconscious mind. The subconscious can be accessed in a way analogous to a personal computer. PSYCH-K® works as a kind of ‘mental keyboard’ — a user-friendly method of communicating with the subconscious mind that is simple, direct, and verifiable. Click here for neuroscience research about the Whole-Brain State.


7. How is PSYCH-K® different from Hypnosis?Answer: One of our Certified Instructors who is also a Certified Hypnotherapist offers these distinctions: Hypnosis places authority in the therapist, while PSYCH-K® gives equal or greater authority to the partner (client).

Hypnosis usually requires a trance state, while PSYCH-K® works without such a state.

Hypnosis may have no spiritual foundation, depending on the therapist. PSYCH-K® is always a spiritual process because it’s designed that way.

Hypnosis usually has no permission protocols; it’s assumed to be helpful. In PSYCH-K® there are always spiritual permission protocols, i.e., contact with your Higher-Self via muscle testing, so we ensure that your belief changes are in your highest and best good, and are not well-intentioned, but misguided goals, that can actually make things worse, rather than better.

In hypnosis the partner or client must disclose often painful or embarrassing personal information. In PSYCH-K®, this information can remain private if the partner prefers.

PSYCH-K® is more of a team process between partner and facilitator, more “do with” rather than “do to.”

At least three hypnotherapists also trained in PSYCH-K® say that they typically get the same or better results in half the time (or less) using PSYCH-K® instead of hypnotherapy.


So these are the most frequently asked questions about PSYCH-K®.


What is your burning question regarding PSYCH-K®? Let me know.

My 16 Major Transformations - all done using PSYCH-K® in less than a year

You are probably thinking "What on Earth is PSYCH-K®?" so let me start with clarifying that question.

PSYCH-K® is a process of identifying the dis-empowering beliefs that one has (about themselves, about the world around, etc) and re-writing them with empowering ones for success, for happiness etc. During a PSYCH-K® balancing process, we communicate with the subconscious mind where these limiting beliefs are stored and we gently replace them with beliefs that serve our goals.

I have written more about PSYCH-K® in previous posts on this blog so feel free to explore further. Alternatively, you can find out more in the book written by the Originator, Rob Williams (link is at the side of the blog).

Now let me go on to my list of 21 Major Transformations I've had since I became a PSYCH-K® facilitator almost a year ago. But before that, here is a brief description of what I used to be:

The woman I was a year ago used to put up a facade of a super successful and confident person but on the inside, I was in fact very shy, I worried about the smallest of issues, I went out of my way to please others and sought their approval on a daily basis, etc... You can imagine the picture.

Needless to say I am none of the above any more! Thanks Goodness for that! Here are my biggest transformations.

1. Improved confidence in every aspect of my life.

2. Overcame deep depression after my divorce.

3. Dealt with anxiety and can now control any minor stress issues.

4. Dealt with overwhelm caused by the amount of workload with regards to my teaching job.

5. Sorted my money worries. My budget is still limited (yet) but I am not worrying sick about making ends meet like I used to. I now know that I am in control of my money flow and it is just a matter of some more time before I would generate more income for my family.

6. I now put my needs first and look after myself easily.

7. I was able to fix my daughter's cracked laptop LCD screen, despite having no prior computer knowledge whatsoever. I just did the PSYCH-K® balancing process every step of the way and as a result, we have a working computer at a minimal price.

8. I now trust my inner judgement and intuition about most things. I seem to just "know" things.

9. Improved productivity and focus.

10. Cleared my severe allergies - I could not eat a crumb of blue cheese without turning into what looks like a puffer fish with a swollen face and slits for eyes and I also had hay fever which is now completely gone.

11. I wrote an eBook. I have just finished the second revised edition of my book too.

12. With regards to the business, I dealt with major visibility issues.

13. Confident at decision making ( I made my own website and I maintain it myself. I know exactly what I want it to be like).

14. Was able to transform the learning abilities of two children (one of them is my daughter who used to struggle with maths but now enjoys the subject and has become very motivated).

15. Improved my relationship with my teenage children.

16. Major mind shift from a victim mentality to "I am in control of my own life" mindset.

A lot more can be written about each and every one of these 16 aspects of my new ME. However, it will take a long time to elaborate here so it seems a better idea to take each one of them and turn them into separate posts, some time in the next couple of weeks.

I also want to thank Darren from ProBlogger.com for setting up this challenge and I hope to be able to complete his 7 tasks even though I am going on holiday and it might turn quite difficult with access to internet etc.

Until tomorrow, when the next challenge arrives, maybe you can tell me about YOUR transformations in life, big or small. I would love to hear and read about them.

Invest Time in You

As devoted parents, most of us get lost in our daily parental duties... We get lost to such a degree that our personality disperses..., we forget about having our own dreams, goals and so on...

As a young parent, I used to be exactly like that - I knew what my son's dreams were, what my husband's dreams were, what my daughter wanted in life, but I had no idea what MY SOUL wanted from life...


I don't want you to get lost...


Are you taking action every day to awaken the potential that is within in you? Of being a great parent, a worthy mum or dad?

Some of us do it by reading a great self-help book or going to an amazing workshop. However, afterwards, we get back into our busy lives where we can just barely cope with the time constraints dealing with our day to day routines and “problems”.


It is time for a CHANGE!

Life change requires commitment and sometimes time too, but when we take the time to change the subconscious patterns that are holding us back, we actually save time and effort in reaching our goals. Taking the time for subconscious change is an investment that in the end will set us free of many things which currently waste our energy and time!

So, if you are having difficulty taking the time to change your life using the affirmations and tools you have learned, then consider starting out with affirmations like:“I am committed to myself and have all the time I need to make my dreams come true.”
“I am enthusiastic about using creating powerful change daily.”
“I am worthy of taking care of my own needs.”
“There is always enough time for me to become authentic to who I really am.”
“I follow through with my commitments, especially the commitments to myself.”
“It is OK to make self-improvement my priority and I do.”

What are some other beliefs that will assist you in investing time in YOU?
Create more empowering beliefs and change them with your favorite method.